Friday, February 24, 2012

Highland Cow Attack

A great prompt at With Real Toads, be inspired by another poem.  I can't think of one that makes me smile more than Cow Attack by Baxter Black.  Take a look, if you dare!

To say a cow is just a cow ain't right,
That's like saying a horse is just a zebra
sans black and white stripes.

There's some ol range cows that are
fierce and snotty. They'll tree ya quick,
or they will try to eat ya.

Them's not my cows though I can promise.
My girls are gentle and so very sweet,
never a snotty charge you'll see.

Everyone is safe with them, even a babe.
No one ever gets chased or treed,
well almost no one you see.

There is one cow you'll wanta watch for
if you are careless about cookies.
Cookies you ain't sharin that is.

Ol Blackie has one shape and it is round.
She is a sweetie but a royal pig
when it comes to treats.

Ya can pull her ears or polish her horns,
pet her calf, even scratch her belly
but don't be silly now tho!

If you have a crinkely or a crackly,
a cookie or a carrot, keep em quiet
I'm warning ya!

She'd lick ya and slobber in a mos'
undignafied way tongue out
and running ya down.

Cookies or a treat, even an empty
wrapper can bring'er coming.
Half a head of sweet teeth.

It ain't no real cow attack,not like
with a range cow or saucy bossy.
But it'll skid yer shorts the same.

Don't fool with that big cow,
she's jealous of her treats.

Mos other times she's good tho.
Just empty yer pockets is all.

Cowboy poetry! Copyright 2012 Shanyn Silinski


Kerry O'Connor said...

This is delightful. I love the vernacular - it gives a whole different side to this monologue. Both cow and speaker are clearly defined characters. Great work Shanyn.

Mary said...

I enjoyed this. I feel as if I have experienced an insider's view of the subject. I also liked the vernacular, which gave the poem a down-to-earth flavor.

Mary Mansfield said...

This really made me smile! Love the tone set here. Blackie reminds me just a bit of my daughter, who can smell a cookie through three closed doors!

Mystic_Mom said...

Kerry - thanks! I'm so glad you enjoyed a bit of cowboy poetry. There is a certain 'twang' to it that I could read or listen to all day!

Mary - this is all true. Blackie would beat a rhino for a granola bar, without breaking her stride I'm sure. So glad you stopped by.

Mary M - awwww...that is awesome! Thanks for sharing, and if your daughter is all of Blackie's good traits she'll be fine. Being a cookie monster is a good talent! *smiles*

And this is day I'll get video and share her antics.

Herotomost said...

LOL....never come between a cow and her treats. The only thing that can really spice up a cows life is the treats, keep em coming and she'll be your bestie for sure....I loved this, made me laugh.

Mary Ann Potter said...

I love cows, and I enjoyed this so much! I'm going to get a couple of cows this summer - pets only, no beef products - and am looking for a couple of good ol' girls who'll enjoy being with the chickens and the dog and being spoiled by me! I'll be a real pocket-emptier!

Kay L. Davies said...

I watched the video, too, and I'd hate to try to say who's better at cowboy poetry, you or Baxter Black.
The idea of cows eating cookies is just too funny, but I can understand a cow getting upset if someone dragged her calf into a pickup.
Yours is definitely the most fun post on Real Toads this weekend, Shanyn. I enjoyed it a lot.

Kay, Alberta, Canada
An Unfittie’s Guide to Adventurous Travel

Lolamouse said...

I love the "royal pig" line! This is great!

Raining Iguanas said...

Yer a hoot!

Heaven said...

Something new for me...your words really makes this come alive ~ I can them cows ~

Mystic_Mom said...

I am so humbled that you all came by to read, and leave some kind words behind. That I brought some laughter to your reading is wonderful...thanks for sharing your enjoyment.

Zoe said...

This is, pure and simply, FUN. You got me speakin' in a twang I am really not that familiar with. :) I always enjoy visiting you and I am never disappointed that I have stopped by. xx

Mystic_Mom said...

Zoe - thanks for coming by! I'd love to hear your twang! :-) It would be very cool I think...glad you enjoyed yourself here.

Heaven said...

Reading this again ~ Thanks for the inputs and all the inspiration Shanyn ~

Susan said...

I hear the twang and the humor and the love and the sweet tooth too. I had a cow named Cathy at a nearby dairy farm, but there was only range when the milkers broke the fence and "got out." I rode Miss Cathy home once--no comfort in that sway back sharp hipped ride! But I don't believe upstate NY has cowboys.

Brian Miller said...

it'll skid yer shorts...hahahaha yes it will...i have a large scar on my leg from being chased by a bull over or through a barb wire fence....

Mystic_Mom said...

Susan, Brian and Grace - thanks for coming by! Pet cows are wonderful, and barbed wire fences will scar you for life. I always wondered after all the blood I have left on them why they aren't tire of the taste of me.

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Thanks for stopping by and leaving me some of your words...bright blessings!